Quote from abuse denier Richard Gardner, Father of Parental Alienation Syndrome
Several Tennessee lawmakers have sponsored legislation this year that would be very harmful to children reducing them to time-sharing property with no regard for their feelings or best interest. House Bill 2916/Senate Bill 2881 sponsors are Mike Bell, Stacey Campfield, G.A. Hardaway, Dewayne Bunch, and Bill Ketron. This bill would force the children of divorced or unmarried parents to spend 50 percent of time at one house and 50 percent at another. This is a foolish recommendation for any person to be subjected to. Would any of these legislators like to be forced by court order to not stay at the home of their choice, but be ordered to stay elsewhere because a law has been passed that says they must be subjected to this? It stands to reason that if the lawmakers themselves were subjected to this, it would not even be considered.
It is most harmful to children in abusive situations as a parent who needs to protect their child will have their hands tied. There is already a culture of abuse deniers who fail to protect children who report abuse. This bill will only add insult to injury. It isn’t just bad for mothers who often leave relationships due to domestic violence, but it is also bad for protective fathers. If a father is trying to protect a child who may be reporting sexual abuse by mom’s boyfriend or husband, that father will be forced to send his child into an abusive situation 50 percent of the time. Also, since proving abuse is so incredibly difficult on par with winning the lottery, a protective dad may be accused of making false allegations or of having the fictitious Parental Alienation Syndrome (although it is almost always mothers accused of this). This bill ties the hands of judges and totally ignores the wants and needs of a child. Even in situations where there is no abuse, forcing a child to live in two different homes 50 percent of the time has already been shown to not work as it interferes with child care, education, friendships, and extracurricular activities.
The bill summary follows:
Under present law, the court has the widest discretion to order a custody arrangement that is in the best interest of the child.
Unless the court finds by clear and convincing evidence to the contrary, there is a presumption that joint custody is in the best interest of a minor child where the parents have agreed to joint custody or so agree in open court at a hearing for the purpose of determining the custody of the minor child. For the purpose of assisting the court in making a determination whether an award of joint custody is appropriate, the court may direct that an investigation be conducted. The burden of proof necessary to modify an order of joint custody at a subsequent proceeding is by a preponderance of the evidence.
This bill removes the above provisions regarding joint custody. Instead, under this bill, at any hearing to determine custody of a minor child, the court must order that the child get equal time with each of the child’s parents unless the court finds by clear and convincing evidence that one or both of the parents are unfit to care for the child. This bill would not prohibit both fit parents from voluntarily entering into a parenting plan that does not give the child equal time with each parent, nor would it prohibit the court from giving the child less than equal time with a parent that does not seek equal time with the child. This bill authorizes a court to direct that an investigation be conducted for the purpose of assisting the court in making a custody determination when a parent has been proven to be unfit.
Fiscal notes on the bill show no added cost to the state, but lists this assumption as a concern:
Several articles have been published recently showing opposition to this proposed legislation:
TN bill on divorce would require equal custody of children
‘One size fits all’ is for clothes, not for kids
The only article that supports the bill was written by one of the sponsors, Senator Dewayne Bunch, who is a Baptist attorney. He claims that his points of view are universally accepted, despite the fact that his viewpoints are not universally accepted. The title of the opinion piece that this custody amendment will allow more leeway in custody decisions, rather than less, is also the opposite of reality. See: Amendment gives court more leeway in ruling
What isn’t being addressed in this forced child splitting bill is the issue of child support. Usually when time is equally split, child support is either not awarded or greatly reduced. It might even end up that women could be paying men after the mother is deprived of her child by court order rather than because her child chooses to live apart from her. Looking further into child custody and support legislation it appears that such a bill to eliminate child support has been proposed.
SB1096 by Stanley/HB0877 by Hensley Child Custody and Support – As introduced, prohibits a court from ordering either parent to pay child support to the other parent if both parents have been awarded and are going to be exercising a substantially equal amount of parenting time with the child or children of the marriage. – Amends TCA Title 36, Chapter 5, Part 1.
There is also proposed legislation to prohibit any change in custody when there is a domestic violence protective order, by Bunch again, along with G.A. Hardaway of DADS-Dads Against Discrimination (as if men who control the 3 branches of federal government and have the majority percentage in every state legislature in the U.S. are discriminated against???).
SB1252 by Bunch/HB1133 by Hardaway – As introduced, prohibits changing of custodial arrangements due to an order of protection against the custodial parent unless the child is the victim of child abuse or the effects of domestic violence. – Amends TCA Title 36, Chapter 6.
And some of the same legislators have also sponsored this legislation which allows someone subject to supervised visitation to select their own supervisor.
SB1266 by Bunch/HB1132 by Hardaway – As introduced, authorizes parent or guardian who pays for supervision of child visitation to select provider of supervision services. – Amends TCA Title 36, Chapter 6.
And this group of lawmakers have also created a chilling effect on protective parents and incest victims by making it a crime to raise allegations if they can’t be proven. This will doom sexual abuse/incest victims to be with their perpetrators until age 18 unless they somehow get a video to police or become pregnant and have DNA evidence.
SB 1264 by *Bunch. (*HB 1130 by *Hardaway, Campfield.)
Domestic Relations – As introduced, requires court to hold in contempt any person who makes false accusation of sexual abuse in furtherance of litigation; also requires false accuser to pay other party’s litigation costs. – Amends TCA Title 19; Title 20; Title 21 and Title 36.
Bill Summary
ON MARCH 31, 2010, THE HOUSE ADOPTED AMENDMENTS #1 AND #2 AND PASSED HOUSE BILL 1130, AS AMENDED.
AMENDMENT #1 makes various revisions to this bill, as follows:
(1) Clarifies that this bill applies to “false allegations” instead of “false accusations”;
(2) Specifies that the court may hold the violator in “contempt” instead of “criminal contempt” and that the penalties provided for in this bill would be in addition to all other penalties provided for by law or rule; and
(3) Clarifies that the violator would be ordered to pay all litigation expenses, including, but not limited to, the reasonable attorney’s fees, discretionary costs and other costs.AMENDMENT #2 makes the order to pay litigation expenses permissive instead of mandatory.
Checking into the backgrounds of these sponsors, they seem to have an agenda to keep women married despite domestic violence or child abuse. These bills are atrocious for victims and show that patriarchal domination is being spread through legislation. Mothers are not free to leave abusers in Tennessee or anywhere in the United States for that matter. With the father’s rights agenda, women are routinely accused of lying when they are being truthful and children are routinely forced against their will to spend time with abusive fathers. Those mothers and children who protest or try to escape from this abuse are accused of fictitious mental disorders such as parental alienation, or anything else they can get away with, resulting in full custody being given to the abuser. Protections that are supposedly in place for abuse victims have created a cottage industry for the “Abuse Deniers.” For large profits the “Abuse Deniers” (lawyers and experts and abusers) accuse victims of lying and destroy children’s lives with little or no recourse for the victim or protective parent.
(China lists this abuse of women and children in the U.S. as a Human Rights violation in their March, 2010 report)
Tennessee is known for giving custody to fathers. A recent case where a man brought his Japanese wife and children to Tennessee then promptly divorced her and remarried, effectly trapping the mother in the U.S. highlighted why other countries, such as Japan choose to protect their women and children. That man was still married under Japanese law as he was married there and was a Japanese citizen. Japan does not allow dual citizenship, so by becoming a Japanese citizen he gave up his US citizenship. He was committing bigamy, yet under TN/US law, TN granted him custody rights. His purpose in bringing his wife and children to Tennessee was so he could divorce under laws that would be favorable to him.
This bill rewards people who are abusive and also people who are unfaithful. The injured party suffers punishment when a spouse either abuses them or is unfaithful. With this bill, if someone files for divorce, because of abuse or infidelity, they will be punished by losing their child 50 percent of the time, and the party at fault will be rewarded by taking the child 50 percent of the time from the injured party. This is non-gender specific and will punish whoever has worked at the relationship, and will reward or ignore bad behavior. This bad behavior can then serve as a model to the children that no matter how they act, the outcome will be the same, so why be good.
The sponsors of this custody bill need to be told that their agenda is not what the people want. It may be what abusive men want, but good fathers don’t force children to spend time with them against their will and they don’t deprive children of their mothers to get out of supporting them, or to intentionally inflict emotional abuse.
SB2881 has been placed on the Senate Judiciary Committee calendar for 04/06/2010. Dewayne Bunch, one of the bill sponsors is on this committee.
Committee Officers
- Mae Beavers, Chair 615-741-2421 sen.mae.beavers@capitol.tn.gov
- Doug Jackson, Vice-Chair 615-741-4499 sen.doug.jackson@capitol.tn.gov
- Doug Overbey, Secretary 615-741-0981 sen.doug.overbey@capitol.tn.gov
Members
- Diane Black 615-741-1999 sen.diane.black@capitol.tn.gov
- Dewayne Bunch 615-741-3730 sen.dewayne.bunch@capitol.tn.gov
- Mike Faulk 615-741-2061 sen.mike.faulk@capitol.tn.gov
- Brian Kelsey 615-741-3036 sen.brian.kelsey@capitol.tn.gov
- Jim Kyle 615-741-4167 sen.jim.kyle@capitol.tn.gov
- Beverly Marrero 615-741-9128 sen.beverly.marrero@capitol.tn.gov
HB2916 has been placed on calendar for the Children and Family Affairs Committee on 04/06/2010. With 3 of the bill sponsors on this committee one wonders if anyone would dare oppose them.
Committee Officers
- John DeBerry, Chair 615-741-2239 rep.john.deberry@capitol.tn.gov
- Kevin Brooks, Vice-Chair 615-741-1350 rep.kevin.brooks@capitol.tn.gov
- Tommie Brown, Secretary 615-741-4374 rep.tommie.brown@capitol.tn.gov
Members
- Mike Bell 615-741-1946 rep.mike.bell@capitol.tn.gov
- Stacey Campfield 615-741-2287 rep.stacey.campfield@capitol.tn.gov
- G. A. Hardaway 615-741-5625 rep.ga.hardaway@capitol.tn.gov
- Sherry Jones 615-741-2035 rep.sherry.jones@capitol.tn.gov
- Barrett Rich 615-741-6890 rep.barrett.rich@capitol.tn.gov
- Jeanne Richardson 615-741-2010 rep.jeanne.richardson@capitol.tn.gov
- Donna Rowland 615-741-2804 rep.donna.rowland@capitol.tn.gov
- Johnny Shaw 615-741-4538 rep.johnny.shaw@capitol.tn.gov
- Terri Lynn Weaver 615-741-2192 rep.terri.lynn.weaver@capitol.tn.gov
Please call or email these legislators with your opinion on this bill.
Since Roe vs. Wade, over 540,000 abortions in Tennessee performed at the discretion of a woman. Out of those numbers, only 10% of women reporting rape. STILL THAT’S KILLING A HALF A MILLION OF OUR UNBORN CHILDREN! That doesn’t seem very motherly to me!
What does this have to do with child custody? Or do you just have sone strong desire to tell other people what to do with their own lives and their own bodies and you want to control women by controlling their children.
Without equal representation in the legislature this bill amounts to men making up rules for women to follow. There are NO women sponsoring this bill.
I am against this Bill and the 50/50 Bill . I believe that every case should be Judge according to the best interest of the Child and the Party.
Well, if men used percautions and didn’t impregant the women there would be no abortions. I am opposed to abortions but they are legal and legally not murder and yes a loving woman but have the devastating choice to make abort or give birth to a deformed child, a child of rape, a child she knows will ,ost likely be torture as she might endure at the hands of an abuser. These are personal choices and have nothing to do with custody.
Men were granted custody in the 19th and early 20th century if they wanted but they simply did not want it so the women were left to raise the kids alone with hardly any suport from the fathers. Historical fact.
It wasn’t until men were made to pay child support that they decided they want the kids and than hey leave them everywhere. Not good for the kids.
Force a kid to live out of a suitcase. For thiose where it works, the parents need no law fr it but for the majority it puts the kids in a limbo.
50-50 is terrible and hurts the chuildren.
rj,
It seems you have been caught in another instance of misstating data.
You are a troll. You get endorphrin rushes when you hurt others, especially if you can use false data or outright lies.
I looked up your reference to Bryan Rodgers (Rodgers, et al; Flood 2003) and his work in the studies of childhood adversity and the prognosis for adult survivors.. It seems he states that of all the adversities those surrounding divorce and the poor mental health of the mother are the most predicitive of adult onset of psychiatric disorders, including depression. The unstated, but very clear logical end result is that mother control of children is the single most detrimental factor to children for adult outcomes.
Rodgers work was misrepresented by M.C. Dunn in a presentation to a feminist conference and has been quoted ever since by feminists who do not realize his work actually speaks against them instead of against father/child involvement. She twisted his work to state emphatically that it was an argument against fathers continuing involvement in children’s lives irrespective of who was abusive or who was mentally ill, mother or father.
Part of Rodger’s study is of the denial of fathers as one of the adversities creating adult destructive and debilitating adult issues for the children. In other words, the lax manner in which you parrot words you think are effective are enough to win the day. You have no understanding or background on your own references.
You make racist statements against “White Men” in an effort to bring out rage or to dismiss in a very asocial manner. You use methods of a manipulator, and to profile further probably one who has been diagnosed with at least one personality disorder. You are intelligent but mentally lazy and probably have found feminism to be an easy track to free support in school, living expenses, etc….. You have a generalized rage and often use passive aggressive techniques to frustrate and anger others for your own pleasure. I would further guess that you were raised by a single mother who demeaned your father endlessly. And, I will predict that the more truthful or accurate my assessment, the more you will try to tell me I am wrong.
You are not here to further the discussion but to prey upon the emotions of desparate and torn humans whose children have been stolen. If the gender correctness were taking children from mothers you would be tormenting them and profiteering from it in some manner.
You have written enough on this one website to allow any who will look a very personal insight into who and what you are.
By your own statements you are racist and gender prejudiced which is another example of my old statements that anyone who is prejudiced about anyone will be prejudiced against everyone.
All I can say to you at this point is
1. You have a lot of time on your hands. I don’t. Why don’t you investigate every single study they way you apparently did that ONE that I mentioned? It would really be useful.
Stats and research can go like that. I HATE research battles. They prove nothing when each study is not thoroughly pulled apart. Just as you can sit here and flood this thread with a bunch of stats, so can anyone…even killers and NAMBLA for crying out loud…have research to support them because everyone is out to make a dime.
2. I know who you are. We have crossed paths before.
3. If whatever you think I am provides you comfort, gives you solace, makes you feel great in knowing that you can stereotype me and therefore you “know”…then, you like it I love it! You don’t need to be wrong. If only you knew who I was….Your profiling skills are providing me great joy because I enjoy laughing until I cry.
Maybe this type of interaction gets your dick hard and keeps you coming back for more. It doesn’t have the same effect on me. This is a rather impersonal forum and I seek pleasure elsewhere that is quite fulfilling. I hope that you have that option as well.
4. I can’t rebut everything you’ve listed. I’m on to bigger, better. The weather is beautiful and believe you me, I won’t be thinking about this thread after I hit ’submit’.
There you have it, I challenge the expert and am recommend to enroll in anger management. FYI – I had three 1 hour sessions back in 2001 after my then wife called the police and Falsely Reported that “I was beating her up in front of the children”. My side of this story was that she attempted to take my truck, without my consent, to drive the children to the beach. She would not give me the keys after I asked twice and I then threw a ½ glass of cold water on her. The water, not the glass and remove the keys from her hand. She called the police and exaggerated the incident.
Did I inform you that she was attempting to drive drunk with our dear children. Guess what, I was arrested based on the police having to make an arrest when a call like this is received. She was challenged by the police that they saw no marks on her that were consistent with her report. She latter RECANTED her story by telling the arresting officer, it is not like he was beating me up. So a plea, a fine, 3 anger management classes later and 9 years later she is no longer around to make FALSE REPORTS of Domestic Abuse. You see I left her Lexapro, Paxil, Celaxa mixed with Berringer White Zin ingesting ways and moved forward in my life. Even read the book Stop Walking on Eggshells, it is about Borderline.
Once separated, she pulls the weapon of choice in a custody dispute. She enlists and coaches our 6 year old daughter into her actions. The DCYF interview of the child captures the response to the interviewer’s question, Why did you write the notes? The child states Mom made her write the notes. And what did you do with the notes? I gave them to mom so she could make copies to show all his friends so he would not have any more friends. The case was ultimately close as unfounded after over 1 year of investigation and separation from the children; plenty of time for the work of PARENTAL ALIENATION to set in. Incidentally, prior to the FALSE Allegations, the children cherished their time with their Dad. After nearly 1 year of separations, they only call me Greg.
It is of great interest why the DCYF Child Savors neglected to capture that the child’s first interview revealed NOTHING. Three weeks later notes appear capturing criminal actions. The DCYF intake reports and petition for abuse do not capture the negative first interview or that the child stated my made her write the notes. It required me and my attorney to petition the court to get DCYF to release the interview tapes. Once viewed DCYF was challenged and withdrew the case. Had I not has $$$$$ to pay the WAVA created “process”, things may have turned out differently.
I have the objective view that there are very bad men and women that intentionally perform very bad acts on children. More times than not, law enforcement is involved and catches them. Can you admit that there is also an industry that feeds on the family courts on cases that are put forth falsely? Can you admit that there is also an industry that supports information that are put forth falsely out of revenge, vindication, spite and to prevent parent child relationship with and ex spouse?
The WAVA has been created to protect against what Law Enforcement is already chartered to do. There is the very real possibility that WAVA is being exploited by vindictive individuals POST divorce and being abused for custody.
You admit you threw water on her. This is an assault. You did this while your children were present setting a bad example for them.
You controlled the vehicle in the house making her ask your permission to use it? Did she have a car or her own, or is this like women cannot leave the home without their husband’s permission.
You claim she was drunk, but the police must not have thought so.
You claim she recanted, or do you mean she felt sorry for you or was afraid.
Medication and wine, sounds like unhappy homelife left her traumatized and she coped with medication to tolerate the situation.
FYI-wine is not illegal for adults to drink. Do you drink alcohol too? Pot shouldn’t call kettle black.
It does not sound like a false report. There was an argument, and you did throw water on your wife.
FYI-Parental Alienation is not a mental disorder. If a child writes something down on a piece of paper that is not a mental disorder. How does a child communicate in writing if they can’t write on a piece of paper? Teachers ask students to write information on paper all the time, does the teacher have a mental disorder?
If you have your child write down information do you have a mental disorder? Or is it illegal now for children to be able to communicate in writing?
If your child told you something about their mother, and you reported it would you be a parental alienator, or would you just be acting in a manner consistent with protecting your child? If you told your child to write down what they told you would you be a mentally ill parental alienator or just asking them to write down what they said so they would remember it correctly?
Try to look at it that way. You can’t claim every action that you don’t like is a mental illness. If something is not true, just say it’s not true instead of claiming the other person is mentally ill in some way. Any statement a child makes usually has some basis in reality. Children’s inability to communicate as well as adults is usually the cause for innacurate information, rather than something insidious. The people that interview from CPS are equal opportunity screwups also, they accuse abuse when there is none, and they miss abuse when there is. Unfounded allegations do NOT mean the abuse did not occur, it means there was not enough evidence to substantiate it.
Civil rebuttal will be provided tomorrow. I have time with my step children, Scrabble. We may be reaching leval dialog.
more to come
greg
Equal Time Parenting Pulled from Committee
Tuesday, April 06th, 2010, by Joe White
A bill in the Tennessee legislature meant to give divorced parents equal time with their children is off the table. The measure was yanked out of committee by its sponsor Tuesday.
Republican Mike Bell of McMinn County says his bill was always intended to give children of divorced parents an equal opportunity to know them both.
Fellow Republican Donna Rowland amended the bill to give disgruntled dads only “maximum opportunity” instead of “equal time.” Bell withdrew his bill.
“Mr. Chairman, with this amendment added, I think that it doesn’t do anything to change the current law, and it would, in fact, it might even give some people false hope that we’ve done something productive.”
The push for equal time is backed by organizations made up largely of fathers who say they are shortchanged by the current system. William Fain of “Families United” says they will likely revive the issue next year.
While the law won’t change this year, the attention paid to custody rights has made waves around the state. Members of the House Children and Family Affairs Committee say some family courts have changed local rules that had given mothers an advantage in custody battles.
Web Extra
The bill is HB 2916 Bell/SB 2881 Bunch.
Rowland, a Murfreesboro Republican, had crafted an amendment that took out the “equal time” provisions and said the court should strive to give each parent “maximum opportunity” to be with the child or children. Bell tried to change the wording back, had his amendment rejected, and immediately withdrew the bill from consideration.
Committee member Johnny Shaw, a Madison County Democrat, was unhappy with the Children and Family Affairs Committee having been a venue for unhappy divorced parents.
“I am on that committee to do what’s best for the children of this state. And equal parenting is not what’s best, in every case, for the children.”
The bill focused on “he said, she said” testimony for several weeks until committee members called a halt and asked for more information from the courts themselves on the disposition of custody cases.
http://wpln.org/?p=16393
I have found the heart of the snake pit of the beginning of WAVA endorsed by Biden (1991)and Clinton (1994)
http://www.answers.com/topic/violence-against-women-act
Guess someone need to continue the claims to keep the $1.6 BILLION flowing
I guess since Dr Baker countered you position you provide links in ATTEMPT to discredit her awsome work
Anyone who wants to deny the VAWA must have some anger management issue.
If you want to see real statistics instead of bogus so-called research check out the Violence Policy Center.
You can see real statistics of murders.
American Roulette http://www.vpc.org/studies/amroul2008.pdf
In this study, 95 percent of the offenders were male. Other studies analyzing
murder-suicide have found that most perpetrators of murder-suicide are male—more than 90 percent in recent studies of the United States.5 Another study which only looked at murder-suicides involving couples noted that more than 90 percent were perpetrated by men.6 This is consistent with homicides in general, in which 89 percent of homicides are committed by male offenders.7 However, most homicides involve male victims killed by male offenders (65 percent), whereas a male victim being specifically targeted by a male offender in a murder-suicide is relatively rare.
The most prevalent type of murder-suicide was between two intimate partners,f
with the man killing his wife or girlfriend… In this study, 73 percent of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner. Of these, 94 percent were females killed by their intimate partners.
Most multiple-victim murder-suicides involving a male murderer and a large
number (three or more) of victims are perpetrated by family annihilators. Family
annihilators are murderers who kill their wives/girlfriends and children, as well as other family members, before killing themselves.
And another study called when Men Kill Women http://www.vpc.org/studies/wmmw2008.pdf
For homicides in which the victim to offender relationship could be
identified, 92 percent of female victims (1,572 out of 1,701) were
murdered by someone they knew.
o More than 12 times as many females were murdered by a male they
knew (1,572 victims) than were killed by male strangers (129 victims).
o For victims who knew their offenders, 60 percent (949) of female
homicide victims were wives or intimate acquaintances of their killers.11
o There were 309 women shot and killed by either their husband or
intimate acquaintance during the course of an argument.
So don’t try to say that women are just as violent as men, because they aren’t. That is reality.
Everybody knows that men are violent. All of them. They should NOT have the right to dictate anything about how custody is handled, because everybody knows that women are naturally better parents than men.
Sounds like they are just mad because they still have to pay.
Now that all are paying attention. Let me provide a list of references for peer reviewed articles from the beginning of the really hardcore feminist family law policies. Even at that time, the myth was screamed so loud that the facts could not be heard. I did not compile this list, but have had it provided to me by a friend, a mental health professional who is very involved with broken families and the after effects on the children.
And, if you are still insisting that men leave women or that the women are leaving the men because of abuse or violence. I have a longer list of peer reviewed studies and articles by strongly credentialed individuals, including some of the leadership of the more extreme male hating groups. The man & child hating women are being exposed for what they are more and more frequently when they come out of their woodwork. To hate one gender is to hate all children and for one gender to lose itself in Narcissistic fantasy to the detriment of all other, including children, is a form of insanity, a pathology. Children need both parents, but make better citizens if they have Dad, with or without a sane mom.
SINGLE MOTHER HOMES
37.8% of single mothers are divorced, 41% never married, and only 6.5% widows. Brookings Institute, “Assessing the Impact of Welfare Reform on Single Mothers”, Part 2, 3/22/04
“The strongest predictor of whether a person will end up in prison, is that they were raised by a single parent”. C.C. Harper and S.S. McLanahan, “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration”, Paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Assoc., San Francisco, CA, 1998
In 1996, 70% of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long sentences, were raised by single mothers. Wade Horn, “Why There Is No Substitute For Parents”, IMPRIMIS 26, NO.6, June, 1997
SINGLE MOTHER HOMES: 72% of juvenile murderers, and 60% of rapists came
from single mother homes. Chuck Colson, “How Shall We Live?” Tyndale House , 2004, p.323
70% of teen births occur to girls in single mother homes. David T. Lykken, “Reconstructing Fathers”, American Psychologist 55, 681,681, 2000
70% of drop-outs, and 70% of teen suicides come from single mother homes. Wade Horn, “Why There Is No Substitute For Parents,” IMPRIMIS 26, N0. 6, June 1997
70% of runaways, 70% of juvenile delinquents, and 70% of Child murderers, come from single mother homes. Richard E. Redding, “It’s Really About Sex”, Duke Univ. Journal of Gender Law and Policy, Jan.1, 2008
“Girls raised without fathers are more sexually promiscuous, and more likely to end up divorced.” Wade Horn, “Why There Is No Substitute For Parents”, IMPRIMIS 26, No.6, June, 1997
“After controlling for single motherhood, the difference between black and white crime rates disappeared.” Progressive Policy Institute, 1990, quoted by David Blankenhorn, “Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem,” New York, Harper Perennial, 1996, p.31
63% of all youth suicides,
70% of all teen pregnancies,
71% of all adolescent chemical/substance abusers,
80% of all prison inmates, and
90% of all homeless and runaway children, came from single mother homes.
Bob Ray Sanders, “Hey Y’all, Let’s Fill The Hall (Of Fame), Ft. Worth Star Telegram, Oct.28,2007
Mona Charen, “More Good News Than Bad?”, Washington Times, Mar.16, 2001 (citing Bill Bennett, “The Index of Leading Cultural Indicators: American society at the end of the 20th Century., New York, Broadway Books, 1994)
Children brought up in single mother homes are:
5 times more likely to commit suicide,
9 times more likely to drop out of high school,
10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances,
14 times more likely to commit rape,
20 times more likely to end up in prison,
32 times more likely to run away from home.
Chuck Eddy, “The Daddy Shady Show”, Village Voice, Dec. 31, 2002
“America has more than twice as many teenage births as other developed nations.” Isabel V.Sawhill, to House Committee on Ways and Means, Subcommittee on Human Resources, June 29, 1999
86% of American teen births are out of wedlock. Dr. David Popenoe, “The Future of Marriage In America”, Rutgers Univ., The National Marriage Project, 2007
600,000 out of wedlock births in 1979. Patrick Fagan and William H.G.Fitzgerald, “Why Serious Welfare Reform Must Include Serious Adoption Reform. Heritage Foundation Reports, July 27, 1995
“(I)n a recent study by the Baltimore-based Annie E. Casey Foundation. Comparing statistics for its Kids Count report, the organization reported that Detroit ranks No.1 in unmarried births among the nation’s 50 largest cities. Of the 16,729 babies born in Detroit in 1997, 13,574 were black, 1,679 were white and 817 were Hispanic. Seventy-one percent were born to unmarried mothers. This compared with a state average of 33 percent and a 50-city average of 43 percent.”
Detroit is the worst offender on our list of America’s most dangerous cities, thanks to a staggering rate of 1,220 violent crimes committed per 100,000 ”
Less than 1% of children born to never married women were placed for adoption from 1989 to 1995. U.S. DHHS, Child Welfare Information Gateway, “Voluntary Relinquishment For Adoption, Numbers and trends, 2005
In 2003, there were 1.5 Million unwed births, and less than 1% were put up for adoption. Fagan and Fitzgerald (above)
Only 4% of college graduates have illegitimate children, and only 16% of college graduates get divorced, compared to 46% of high school dropouts, who marry in smaller numbers to begin with. Dr. David Popenoe, “The Future Of Marriage In America; “The Frayed Knot – Marriage in America”, The Economist, May 26, 2007
50% of single mothers are below the poverty line, their children are 6 times more likely to be in poverty than children with married parents. Chuck Colson, “How Shall We Live”, Tyndale House.
85% of homeless families are single mother families. Barry H. Waldman and Stephen P. Perlman, “Homeless Children With Disabilities, “ The Exceptional Parent, June 1, 2008 (American Academy of Developmental Medicine and Dentistry
90% of welfare recipients are single mothers. Jason DeParle, “Raising Kevion”, New York Times, Aug. 22, 2004
There were 3 million single mothers in 1970 and 10 million in 2003. U.S. Census, Table FM-2, All Parent/Child Situations, by Type, Race, and Hispanic origin of Householder, 1970 to 2003
The illegitimacy rate went up more than 300% since 1970. House Ways and Means Committee, Nonmarital Births to Adults and Teenagers and Federal Strategies to Reduce Nonmarital Pregnancies, appendix “M”, 2003
———- Forwarded message ———-
From: James D Carmine
Date: Mar 25, 2006 5:34 PM
Subject: FATHER your own? No! Foster parent someone elses? Sure!
The sickest problem is, I can legally raise someone else’s kids and get paid
for it by the state, but I am not allowed to see my own child for more than
4 days a month. Of course I can also live with some other father’s kids,
as well as spend most of his money, so long as I am shacking up with his
ex. Thank you Liberal lunatics. Seems I can raise anyone’s kids but the
ones I really love. MY OWN.
Peer-reviewed sounds great and all, but if you know anything about research, peer-reviewed doesn’t mean it is a sound study. Some of the things I have seen I can’t even believe have been printed in journals. Honestly, I bullshit you not, look at the independent and dependent variables and you will see that correlation does not equal causation. Results from certain samples also cannot be extrapolated to the public at large. I don’t know how many times this has to be repeated. Furthermore, good researchers tend to list their limitations and areas for future study. This is not to be ignored.
Did you know that the children of widows are fatherless and indeed raised by single mothers? And do you realize that women who’s partners are off stationed elsewhere are indeed fatherless and single mother? How do you account for their successes given that drivel that you and your ilk are fond of spouting off?
Here’s some of that good ol drivel with commentary inserted:
Single Mothers, Absent Fathers, Pirates, Global Warming and All in Between
and there is a part two
You just need to take some time and think about it.
____
Children growing up without a father in the home are more than twice as likely to end up in jail.
Fact: Children growing up without a father in the home are many times more likely to have had a father who spent time in prison. That’s why he was “absent”.
Do you think all fathers are absent for the same reasons?
Fact: The most significant predictor of criminality is having a parent or other close relative who exhibits anti-social behavior or has been incarcerated.
Like father, like son?
Fact: “Taking all the evidence together, marital discord has a stronger relation with delinquency and aggression than parental absence.”
Because bad parents are worse than no parents
Juvenile delinquency is caused by “fatherlessness.”
Fact: “Studies have shown repeatedly a consistent relationship between juvenile delinquency and large family size, marital disharmony, alcohol abuse in parents and overall social deprivation. A consistent relationship has also been shown with delayed reading age, below average scores on intelligence and achievement tests, conduct disorder of childhood and parental aggressive behaviour.”
____
Research on single mother households proves that “fatherlessness” harms children.
Fact: “The relative well-being of children in bereaved families and the poorer outcomes identified among children in step-families suggest that the absence of a parent figure is not the most influential feature of separation for children’s development.”
Fact: “[F]ather absence does not significantly influence the level of well-being of either daughters or sons. Rather… children’s perceptions of their relationships with both parents have a more direct influence on their psychological well-being than does the physical presence or absence of their father.”
Fact: Serious design errors and methodological problems make many studies ostensibly showing harm from father absence inconclusive, e.g. the impact of family-related variables (number of children, sex of parent, cause of parental absence, etc.)
____
and what about those damn gay parents?
Fact: “A growing body of scientific literature demonstrates that children who grow up with 1 or 2 gay and/or lesbian parents fare as well in emotional, cognitive, social, and sexual functioning as do children whose parents are heterosexual. Children’s optimal development seems to be influenced more by the nature of the relationships and interactions within the family unit than by the particular structural form it takes.”
———
Where there are negative outcomes among children who grow up without their biological fathers, these are explained in part by selection effects – by systematic differences between the people who divorce or never marry and those who marry once and stay married. Again these differences show up as high parental conflict, substance abuse, violence, mental illness and other forms of anti-social behaviour which are associated with divorce and with poor outcomes in children, not because the parent is a single mother (Rodgers et al 2003 p6, Flood 2003).
___
What father’s rights groups do is take research done on low-income, families of color, and generalize and apply the findings to everyone. White men conveniently forget issues involved systematic racism.
rj,
If you were in court with your misstatements, misdirections, and clear perjury, you would be an easy mark for any ethical participant.
It is the mark of a sociopath or an ideologue to take the position of only the extreme or highly unlikely. You are implying that 50/50 is to be imposed on All situations. No. It was to be applied only to situations where there was no evidence of abuse or violence.
As you devolve your position and disassemble your own arguements, you expect readers to be distracted. That dirty trick no longer works as it once did. You now falsely cry “Men are Monsters, Women are Saints” as your mantra when the stats show that women are the ones who are more abusive in all but a very few categories and are the largest body of child abusers, overall.
The one fact you gender-power ideologues do not ever want to consider is that abuse, violence, adultery is not ‘owned’ by either gender. Currently women are the greater number of abusers in relationships and children. A large part is that our media and your personal type of activism tells women they are not accountable.
In one response you attempted to say detract from the overall and massive harm done to children in general by single mothers by a statement that it was not because the children were raised by single mothers, but because the fathers were in prison. Well, as it turns out the children of incarcerated parents are 6 times more likely to become prisoners themselves. Yet, it still does not compare with the overall stats for children of single mothers. And, undeniably, single motherhood is in the vast majority of the time, a very voluntary act with well studied motivations that can only be called, Narcissistic. In other words, children and society be damned.
Then you wish to confuse the un-initiated in the process of studying social and behavioral traits. You would state these studies are invalid because of the variability in individual subjects. These studies are not ‘bean counting’ in the manner that you can count all green beans and all pinto beans and get an exact figure of each. The very thing you wrongly, and with intent to confuse, decry, object to in the well proven stats I provided, you do. One example of this is in the trying to include the involuntary single mothers, widowed, in your effort to make the valid and true claims of vast social ill caused by promotion of single motherhood.
You try to state that because there are some single mothers raising good children that no single mother raises bad children. Again you work at not addressing the issues but avoiding them. If all single mothers were all bad and all their children were feral adults, then who would need to study the incidences? There will always be the exception, It is the general rules we are discussing, You may be lost somewhere else in the distraction of attempting to state “Man Bad, Woman Perfect”.
You lose yourself and your audience. The day to day fact of extended families seeing what the women in their families are doing to the children and the men in the families that is the greatest argument against children as the property of the mother with her tax payer funded partner, the government. Our legislators are bailing on feminism as fast as they can.
In a not to distant past visit with a number of legislators in key family policy positions in my state, we heard, regularly, that what they had been doing the past 30 years was a complete failure in family policy of turning children over to mothers based on feminist claims. We heard, “They (sic feminists) come to us with dirty hands outstretched for more dollars”. It has been the unmanageable and overwhelming volume of feral children and adults from voluntarily single mother homes that is swamping all of our social networks, police, and prison systems. Now that is where ‘bean counting’ does come into play and proves up, Voluntary Single Motherhood is the greatest social ill modern society has created.
rj, you day has come and gone, we all know you for who and what you are and you, as gender feminist ideologues for tax dollars, are on the way out, Thank God. Your movement represents one of the more costly in human waste in history and the most costly for our nation. Your sun is setting and your misquoting of stats and misdirection of arguments marks you for who you are. Soon we will be able to dismiss you completely to the lists of scams, cons, and/or mentally disturbed. Your kind only came into abusive power through the misuse of our tax dollars. The dollars are drying up and your tax payer funded party is almost over.
Your days are nearly over of using shotgun blasts of 10 – 20 or even more misstatements, lies, and misdirection in a single paragraph making any real addressing of your deceptions a monolithic effort, just so you can make another shotgun blast of falsehoods.
Your dirty tricks are best exemplified and summed up in your own words:
“Where there are negative outcomes among children who grow up without their biological fathers, these are explained in part by selection effects – by systematic differences between the people who divorce or never marry and those who marry once and stay married. Again these differences show up as high parental conflict, substance abuse, violence, mental illness and other forms of anti-social behaviour which are associated with divorce and with poor outcomes in children, not because the parent is a single mother (Rodgers et al 2003 p6, Flood 2003).
___
What father’s rights groups do is take research done on low-income, families of color, and generalize and apply the findings to everyone. White men conveniently forget issues involved systematic racism.”
In the above statements you attack valid studies on detail and technicalities as if these factors were not addressed when they are indeed stated openly and defined in any valid study. Then in the very next paragraph, you make a broad generalization that is racist in its very wording and direction in calling all persons of a certain category “White Men” racist.
You are unbelievable your intellectual dishonesty.
no, more violence is done by men than women, mothers are often charged wit falure to protect and yet when mother report they are often said to be falsely accusing. Men are more violent by nature and have always been–they were the huinters and women the nurtures andfor laws to try to change the very innate qualities of people with never benefit society.
When a child is placed in foster care it is because of evidence of child abuse or death of parents.
No child should be with abusive parents, mother or father.
Men also molest much more than women but some women have.
Many women cover for he men. It is desopicabel what happens to children in their own homes.
However, most parents are good, do love their kids and do work out the best for their children. It is generally when their is abuse that the question of custody becomes on issue and abusive parents generally calim to be falsely accused and those are the true false allegation for they know they are guilty and are lying when they claim to be falsely accused.
Your stats that so call pertain to single moter homes etc fail to state that while these people were raised by single mothers, they were DESERTED by THEIR BIO FATHERS and most were forced to live in poverty because of their fathers not living up to his responsibility when he procreated..
Do you need a biology lessons????
These comments are being censored. I have provided a REPLY to post #2 and they do not show up. Perhaps the information provided is being controlled. After all, it is not inline with the PNN OPINION.
Greg
You are seriously paranoid. Or maybe the government is preventing fathers from speaking out.
Why don’t we call this site what it is, a male bashing site for feminazis.
Thank you for your comment. Glad to see people showing their true colors in response to any opinion that is different from their own.
Myth — A father’s most important role is “fathering” his children.
Fact: A father’s most important role, and the one common “father factor” in all research that indicates any correlation between father involvement or presence and positive effect on child well-being is: a father who emotionally cares for, financially supports, respects, is involved with, takes some of the work load off of, and generally makes life easier, happier and less stressful for. . . his children’s mother.
http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/017.htm
The “fact” that has been provided along with the supporting link referenced opens yourself to being challenged on accuracy, truthfulness and source credability. I looked at the site thelizlibrarty and under the Parental Alienation Referenced Publications, I did not see Dr Amy Baker’s book Adult Children of Parental Alienation. Absent this work, the rest of the information is subject to be non onjectional, bias and agenda orientated.
Based on you above information, my ex wife was correct. All I was ever good for was for a sperm donation, money and kissing her ass. If I challenged her spending, verbal abuse, insults, belittling, physical violence (All of these to both the children and myself), I was being dispectful in her eyes. Her position was I get my ass to work, bring home money for her to waste on needless items, make more babies at her control (no sex otherwise) and shut up, sit down, be quite and oh yah smile to prove you enjoy this “marriage”
Share Parenting, 50/50 custody, Parent Rights what every you want to call it needs to break through the stuck in time stigma of those such as PNN have.
The children deserve much more
Greg
Thank you for another great comment with bad language and insults.
Please identify the “bad language and insults”.
Altering the topic of conversation may be effective in other areanas, but not in one where you need actual facts, rather than opinons, to score a point.
A$$ is not usually considered the best word to use when making a point about how great you are.
Claiming the Liz Library isn’t credible because Amy Baker’s book isn’t included doesn’t make sense. Maybe you have fallen victim to Amy Baker’s brainwashing propaganda to buy her book and support her views, but many of us have not drank that koolaid.
Here is a link to some info on Amy Baker’s research:
http://www.randijames.com/2010/01/amy-baker-and-parental-alienation.html
Amy Baker emails people and groups to support her views in attempts to mobilize mindless mob mentality. She personally signs emails asking others to promote her theories so that she can make lots of money from books and expert fees.
Why are the comments being censored? My proviously posted comment has since been removed.
This site is very inconsistent with the way the comments are being posted, appear and then disappear. It is as if someone is censoring the posts.
Greg
Hello:
Shared parenting should always be a goal, and I would hope there are enough caveats in this legislation to protect children should a 50/50 split between the two household not be in the child’s best interests.
Sadly, determining the best interests of the child is not always easy. Lies,half-truths and insincerity are standard operating procedure in family court. Do some parents claim abuse when none exists in order to come between a child and the child’s other parent? Of course they do. Conversely, do some parents claim parental alienation when none exists as a custody strategy? You betcha.
The key to sorting out fact from fiction is to educate legal and mental health professionals about parental alienation so the professionals can seperate legitimate claims of alienation from false allegations of abuse (and vice versa). The goal is to help judges make good decisions on behalf of the children. Starting from a premise of 50/50 shared parenting is just that — a place to start.
Sincerely,
mike jeffries
Author, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation
Why would starting at 50/50 be a goal for an unmarried women who may be unmarried by choice because the father beat her while she was pregnant? The number one cause of death for pregnant women is homicide by the father of the child. This bill is a recipe for death.
Is there some rule that a woman capable of breeding must have a keeper? Why shouldn’t women have freedom of choice. If the father of the child proves to be no good, then no woman should be forced to be subjugated by his control over her via offspring from her womb. A woman risks maternal death to bring a new life into the world. It is the mother’s labor ALONE that brings the child into the world after nuturing the the child with her own body. Then it is the mother’s role to continue to care and feed the child. A recent study confirms what many moms already know – that breastfeeding makes healthier and more mentally stable children. With the contributions of motherhood being so vitally important to the health of a child, how dare anyone marginalize a mother’s role in a child’s life. The nurturing that moms provide is not limited to being an incubator or cow providing milk either.
I LOVE it when Mike shows up. Anyone else want to promote a book? Where is that one girl when you need her?
With all due respect to the original writer, this could be the most moronic article I have ever seen on this issue. I am a former social worker who dealt with a ton of broken families, corruption you name it. The “it should be based on each individual situation” is a ridiculous notion. That is the way it is currently done and that means that males (and I am a female) are rarely given the opportunity to be a parent. The biggest problem I dealt with was many families did not have a father figure in their lives. Many women had men coming in and out of the home, stepparents every couple of years (I will never forget the case I had one time where a woman had gotten remarried SIX times). As far as statistics go, they are worthless. I have a ton of information which will confirm what one poster wrote about mothers abusing their kids twice as much as men. It is the same way with domestic violence. In many of the cases I dealt with the woman was the agressor and finally the male defended himself, which I contend he at some point has a right to do. I saw it time and time again. As someone who has always fought for equal rights for women, it would be hypocrisy on my part not to expect equality for ALL people and men are NOT treated fairly by the courts. They simply are not. There are a ton of great fathers out there who have no chance to have a relationship with their children and I’ve got news for you, it DESTROYS the child. I cringe everytime someone uses the abuse angle. It is lame. Most parents indeed are not abusers. You don’t want this law to pass because of the parents that do abuse? You more or less are saying that most men are abusers which is sexist and downright shameful. This law is not perfect but it is ten times better than the one in place and any woman who thinks differently is selfish beyond belief.
I have a wonderful husband who is every bit the parent I am. If our marriage ever ended, I can sincerely say he would deserve as much time with our two kids as I do. However, I can guarantee you a court would grant me the kids strictly for my gender. That is criminal. PERIOD.
This is the type of mentality that would be like an “Aunt” in the movie, “A Handmaid’s Tale”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Handmaid’s_Tale
Does the TN Board of Regents pay you to surf the internet?
Father figure “issue” is drivel. If, indeed a father figure is needed, it can be, and IS, provided by other men when the biological dad isn’t fulfilling the role.
Often times women have men “coming in and out of the home” for economical reasons….so what?
Mothers abusing their kids twice as much, duh, see answer already in this thread. Link provided.
You cannot attest that every child with an absent father is destroyed. Maybe the father is destroyed if he was parenting and had a close bond with the child.
Most men aren’t abusers, most abusers are men.
If your marriage ended in a way that would not be conducive to the positive growth of your children, and you are intent on them having that same father who has proven irresponsible in his role, I pity your kids for having a fool as a mother. PERIOD. And maybe grandma should get the kids.
Tina, Dam Straight. You speak the truth. The person that wrote this article is a complete moon-bat.
You mean Tina from the Tennessee Board Of Regents School in Dyersburg.
Interesting that the only people hurling insults are the commentors who DON’T care about children’s feelings, but only their own demands. There must be many other people concerned with children having a happy home life as the bill was NOT supported as written.
With the way some of you commenters write insults, it isn’t much of a stretch that you speak to boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives, children & acquaintances the same way. It would seem that the people demanding to take a child from a home where they are happy, and forcing the child to spend time with people who communicate like this, are nasty people who only enjoy the company of others who act in the same unpleasant way. All of you must be a real joy to have a party with. Maybe you see a child with their mom and call them both names because you hate mothers and children so much, you can’t stand to see a loving relationship. You feel the need to take the child and make them just as mean, nasty and spiteful as you are. Then you make the child hate their mom and then you know real satisfaction.
no, courts do not grant custody based on gender that is a misconception.
When mothers get custody it is often because that is what both parents wanted. Most men do not want custody as long as the mother is a good mother but all good father would take and raise the children if the mother declined or was unfit.
When both parents are good and loving parents, the parents themselves work things out after 6 months or so.
Good parents do what is in the children best interest.
Hi Trisha -
These statistics below show that children DO NEED THEIR FATHERS!
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
[U. S. D.H.H.S. Bureau of the Census]
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
[Center for Disease Control]
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
[Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14 p. 403-26]
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
[National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]
70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes
[U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report,]
85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.
Check out the stats for yourself. You’re bias ‘1′ parent (MOM only) defense looks very weak and mostly self-serving..
If you knew anything about the TN bill, you’d know it reaches across ‘personal self loathing’ and begins for the first time — to ease the pain of any divorce — for the children.
Your personal story told here via a 1-sided ‘mom’ clearly shows — you care about YOU (MOM) — not the child having 2 parents in it’s precious life. Very sad.
Oh yea — why did you NOT sign this ‘article’ and put your stamp on this bias stance of yours?
You sound very biased and bullylike. I guess you want kids that are “Motherless” – at least “Motherless” 50 percent of the time. If you read the news you would see how violent kids get, expecially boys, when they are raised in motherless homes. Here is a research project for you. Look up how many young boys have shot and killed their fathers, or the father’s girlfriend as in a case in Pennsylvania. There is also a case in Florida where a child from a motherless home killed his own brother. These children are missing the caring and nuturing of a good mother. It is so sad for these children.
These “fatherless” stats have been around for years. They prove nothing. Unfortunately, no one takes a critical mind to research anymore. Correlation? Causation? Confounding?
This was the biggest waste of time; any nut with a computer can pass themselves off as a journalist…that’s what we have here. Who wrote this article? Where’s the address? Any article that would site the China human rights report should be dismissed as junk and never should be taken seriously and personal attacks of elected representatives…really!
This bill should pass! Equal for both parents should always be the starting point.
Yes, start from something that never existed…so the court system must tell you have to be a parent because you don’t know how to do it on your own. Affirmative action for parents.
If it was such of waste of time then why did you read it and spend even more time commenting on it?
“Women do not own the children. The problem is, most women are not reasonable, especially when they see their CS pay check go out the door to daddy’s house. They want the money more than they want their children to have a father…it’s sad, but true.”
@Dads of Tenn.
Anyone can understand why you would have these feelings, however, that doesn’t lend itself to fact. Ask a woman that has carried a child for 9 mos, nursed that infant, spent most of her time nurturing that infant, making sure that child is safe and well, ask her if she does not own that child….If you had been in this position, you may know better.
If a father isn’t good for the child, it would be reasonable that the mother would want better. Any father won’t do.
Having worked the Family Advocacy field for a number of years, and being a single father, I am highly offended by your response.
It absolutely reeks of the “Gatekeeper Mentality” and propagates the idea that by simple virtue of bearing the child, the mother not only has complete authority, but the father for all intents and purposes is irrelevent.
Men are no less able to nurture than are women. Men are furthermore no less dedicated to their children than are women.
The fact is the mother, regardless of nine months of pregnancy, does NOT own the child. Nor does the father. Such an attitude of ownership from either parent is not only deliterious to the child’s best interests but is selfish and asinine.
There are indeed bad fathers, but there are just as many bad mothers. Conversely, there are as many good fathers as there are good mothers. Sadly it is the failure of one or BOTH parents to be adults for which the child suffers.
We are not irrelevent. We are no less important to our children than are their mothers. Our children do indeed have rights; first among them the right to equal time and access to BOTH parents.
I’m glad you took my words and turned them into something else. You should be offended by your own translation.
You know who gatekeeps? Most, if not all females in the ANIMAL kingdom. And humans, by way of being the slowest to grow, develop, and mature, benefit from this arrangement.
The rest of your points aren’t worth going over because you weren’t refuting what I said. You just made your talking points and stated the obvious.
Again, when you can be pregnant and nurse a child, come back and talk. I wish you could have this conversation with a mother bear…
And by the way, should the child be able to sue if he/she did not have equal time and access with both parents, while they were all in the house together? Ever think that’s why you’re not really valued??
Maternal gatekeeping is not a mental disorder. It is a mother’s duty to make sure that her child is properly cared for, especially in her absence. As far as children’s rights go, they should have the right to choose how much time they spend with each parent, based on their experience if the parents were actually together when the child was born. If the parents were not together when the child was born, there is likely a very good reason like abuse, unless the guy is a womenizer who just doesn’t care.
“A universal shared equal parenting law would prevent scorned women from preventing fathers from equal parenting time. This is why laws like HB2916 & SB2881 must be passed. 50-50 must be the starting point”
@ Dads of Tenn.
Did the fathers have equal parenting time before the divorce? Define equal parenting time–would that be an equal OPPORTUNITY to parent? Is that what you are seeking, opportunity? Because evidence needs to be shown that there was 50-50 actual PARENTING occurring in the intact household. We cannot have a presumption of a starting point that never existed.
In Florida, one year after forced shared parenting was imposed, there was a 100% increase in domestic homicides. See http://angelzfury.blogspot.com/2009/10/florida-domestic-violence-homicides-are.html
Canada, Child Custody, and the Shared Parenting Fail
Canada has been hot spot between fraudulent parental alienation theorists and pedophiles because it is the supposed liberal land. It is always being used an example for a variety of matters on child custody. For example, shared parenting in Australia is failing and they are considering enacting a more “Canadian” model.
It is said that in Canada, the family court system rules based on whatever parenting arrangements were in place while the family was intact. They presume that it is in children’s best interest to try to continue the previous pattern of caretaking. Makes sense. Any early childhood educators and developmental scientists would agree. However, this has all the shared-parenting/fathers’ rights people enraged. (see Father Involvement)
The shared-parenting proponents and the vocal minority of father’s rights groups are best known for privileging child contact over safety and creating a hype about a war against fathers–a war, that doesn’t exist. And they do it by making statements like this:
In Canada judges order maternal custody in over 90% of cases. They offer breadcrumbs to dads through the use of a legal fiction called joint custody but physical custody goes to mom who rules…judges still award maternal custody in a 9-1 ratio to moms.
This depiction would make it seem like fathers are getting beaten by a system that is “robbing” them of their children. However, a critical analysis would reveal that most men accept maternal care arrangements not only because that is the way it has always been [within their own households], but also because they benefit from it. (see Shared Parenting Lies)
Look at it another way: Most child custody arrangements and divorces are settled amicably, and without the assistance of the court (80%-90%?). How then, is there a “war” in which women are “awarded” child custody most of the time? It is like saying there is a war against able-bodied persons who want to use scooters. (see Fathers Pretend About Caretaking Responsibilities in Joint Custody)
The law does not need to balance the gender difference in child custody. This isn’t affirmative action. The supposed disadvantage that fathers have been at has allowed them to hold all of the positions of power, namely economic. Fathers, individually need to change their behaviors so that they are [more] involved in child caretaking responsibilities. But first, we may want to address this:
The Role of Fathers in Risk for Physical Child Abuse and Neglect: Possible Pathways and Unanswered Questions:
“In one of the first studies directly examining fathers’ involvement and child neglect risk, Dubowitz et al. (2000) reported that fathers’ greater direct involvement with child care was positively linked with higher child neglect risk…
fathers, as well as father figures, are highly overrepresented as perpetrators of physical child abuse, particularly in its most severe forms …
Given that fathers provide, on the whole, substantially less direct child care than mothers (Margolin, 1992; Yeung, Sandberg, Davis-Kean, & Hofferth, 2001), these proportions of fathers and possible father surrogates as perpetrators of severe child abuse appear as rather startling.
Most child custody arrangements and divorces are settled amicably, and without the assistance of the court (80%-90%?).
To quote you back “LMFAO. In which country do you reside?”
I will agree that in some of the cases the mother or the father does not want to spend time with their kids (which I do not understand other than they are extremely self centered and it is all about them), but that aside, in the cases where you do have both parents that want primary or equal custody of the kids, and any mediation failed, then why should the woman get 85% of time with the kids. It takes 2 to make a marriage, and only 1 to walk away. What makes me any less desirable to be a parent just because the wife and I can no longer get along? Just because you get a wife who leaves because she is bored, out of love, angry, or what ever the case, why should I be left to just seeing my kids 4 days a month? Your example of womb to the tomb (she carried the baby 9 months, nursed him…. while the man worked to provide food, clothes, cars, a roof, so he is forced to be at a job and can not choose to be there 50% of the time, so he can be a stay at home dad, how does this makes him unfit to be with the children after a divorce for less than 50% of the time. I do not understand your thinking. I can only assume you have never been on the dad side where you get 4 days a month with your kids.
S Masters,
Both parents cannot have the same thing. Being a parent means sacrificing for the children. I KNOW you know that. From the moment a woman knows she is pregnant, she must begin that sacrifice with her own body.
This does NOT in any way mean you are less desirable to be a parent. It means that the interest of the kids must be put at the forefront, not what the parent desires. No, you shouldn’t see your kids 4 days a month. But at the same time, kids shouldn’t have to suffer back and forth because of the choices of their parents. Your job is to facilitate things. Most parents want the best for their children.
Your job as a provider is not to be minimized, however understand that you may not have the closest emotional bond with your children. Perhaps you weren’t able to participate in all the activities, feeding, clothing, school stuff, extracurricular…but was it because of choice, or circumstance? Only you can answer these questions.
“Custody arrangements may matter far less for the well-being of children than had been thought . The rationale for joint custody is so plausible and attractive that one is tempted to disregard the disappointing evidence and support it anyway. But based on what is known now, we think custody and visitation matter less for children than how much conflict there is between the parents and how effectively the parent the child lives with functions. It is likely that a child who alternates between the homes of a distraught mother and an angry father will be more troubled than a child who lives with a mother who is coping well and who once a fortnight sees a father who has disengaged from his family. Even the frequency of visits with a father seem to matter less than the climate in which they take place. Joint physical custody should be encouraged only in cases where both parents voluntarily agree to it imposing joint physical custody would invite continuing conflict without any clear benefits. In weighing alternative public policies concerning divorce, the thin empirical evidence of the benefits of joint custody and frequent visits with fathers must be acknowledged.”
Pages 75-76 in Divided Families, Frank Furstenberg and Andrew Cherlin
The fathers rightsters say that the giving the child to the mom and thus setting up child support is a profitable system–for mom and the government. Let’s take a look at this alternative set-up.
Child goes to both parents 50-50.
Parents are uncooperative.
Child doesn’t have one home, but no homes (because two homes is not better than one, when you’re a kid).
Child is parented differently at each home.
Child is mentally, physically, and emotionally torn.
Court orders continuous psychological “help” for the child. Medication may be prescribed.
Court orders continuous psychological “help” for one or both parents. Medication may be prescribed. Non-compliance may be fined.
Court orders continuous family “therapy.”
Parents cannot resolve dispute. Parents return to court unlimited times.
Court orders parenting coordinator.
Worse case scenario. Child is removed from both homes and placed in foster care.
No child support is exchanged between parents or the child support system, and yet the profiteers are the court system and its agents: psychologist, psychiatrists, social workers, therapists, coordinators.
Parents have given their autonomy over to the government to decide the best interest of the entire family. Who is the fool now?
When men fight for child custody, previous primary caretaking history is thrown out of the window along with any rights that the child may have in deciding with whom to reside. It isn’t that these men are more fit (although they may be the breadwinners). It isn’t that these men will suddenly assume more responsibility for child rearing (often times it is the new girlfriend, wife, or grandparents). It is the simple fact that a father taking a seeming interest in the kid, and claiming his RIGHT, that our system falls for. Add that to the single mother bashing and fatherhood exaltation which is well entrenched into every aspect of society.
It is different when couples agree to custody arrangements–which, most do. And that arrangement somehow still consists of the majority of the caretaking remaining with the mother. Even the agreed upon “joint-custody” households are NOT the 50-50 splitting that father’s rights groups push. In this scenario, the “jointness” typically resides in the decision-making, not the actual physical arrangement of the kids.
Take it from Florida–Our domestic violence and child abuse rates have skyrocketed in the past 2 years. Our own commission said that joint custody wasn’t a good idea. We struck down a previous bill. Then, we totally changed our minds!!:
1. Many men file proceedings to contest custody as a way of forcing an advantageous property settlement. Too many attorneys knowingly participate in this practice.
2. When a court decides custody, it must consider Florida’s presumption for shared parental responsibility. The Commission is concerned that the judiciary is improperly converting this presumption into a mandate by ordering shared parental responsibility without due consideration of factors specified in the statute, including parental desires and the best interests of the child.
3. Contrary to public perception, men are quite successful in obtaining residential custody of their children when they actually seek it.
–1990 Gender Bias Report of the Florida Supreme Court
Joint custody does not result in the father spending more time with the children.
(Primary caregiving often is taken over by substitute mothers, and joint custody frequently devolves over time into arrangements that in effect parrot traditional sole mother custody and visitation — in addition to the below cite, see compilation of additional research on mother-absence and stepmother parenting. )
– Frank F. Furstenberg & Andrew J. Cherlin, “Divided Families: What Happens to Children When Parents Fail 33-38 (1991).”
What split custody looks like:
You would have your things at both locations, although, some of your favorite things, you will have to transport back and forth, or you will have to have two of them.
You will have to arrange your activities so that you can either participate in them from both locations, or only participate in them when you’re at one location or the other.
You and your friends will have to have an understanding that you may not be able to associate physically during half of your time. Thus, if some event arises suddenly, it will be likely that you cannot participate.
Just to be fair, you shouldn’t be able to have transportation to anything, you should have to rely on whatever exists wherever you currently are, meaning, you will be dependent upon the schedules of others.
Such fun!
1. Do you know what “joint custody” kids look like? Most personnel in a school can pick them out.
2. Why don’t they get the parents to switch houses, see how economically, physically and mentally feasible that is? Remember, the children didn’t ask for this.
3. Why IS it that the children are never really mentioned, as subjects rather than objects?
4. Where is the evidence-based research that this is beneficial?
5. And if it is not beneficial and the kids end up with “problems” or, heaven forbid, some dies by homicide or suicide, who the fuck can we sue?
6. These are some dumb ass legislators…then again, this IS Tennessee. Did they not read any of the research regarding joint custody? Do they even know how to read research. I recommend a good book on research methods and critiquing research.
7. Senator Dewayne Bunch is obviously an idiot. In what other societies around the world is joint custody practiced? And since when should we start trusting anyone who proclaims their affiliation with any church?
8. How is anyone supposed to prove a false allegation any more than a true one? That would require that the court follow the law…which is apparently not happening. I see exactly where this is going. This bill is 100% in favor of men. No questions asked.
This may be the dumbest article I have ever read. It takes to create a child. Most parents are not abusers. If abuse can be proven then it is different but this article makes the assumption that abuse occurs all the time and normally by men. Research shows women abuse children TWICE as much as men. This does not mean women are more violent of course but because the courts always give them custody then they have more opportunity. If you base it on an individual decison, the woman almost always wins.
Again with the insults. The key statement in your coment is “If abuse can be proven”. Since it’s next to impossible to prove abuse with the failure to follow proper rules of evidence that goes on in family court, children are routinely sent to live with abusers. This affects both fathers and mothers, because a protective parent of either gender has to overcome lawyers and experts who make their living lying.
And how do you propose to overcome ambulance chasers? They are the ones that make the decision. I contend 50-50 custody would give some checks and balances and what if no abuse occurs on either side. How do you justify the mother getting all the rights?!!
If a women is unmarried, she shouldn’t be saddled with human bondage. If the guy is a good man, why wouldn’t she want him around? Last time I checked women were the ones risking maternal death to bring a new life into the world. It is natural for mothers to care for their children as that it how it has been since the beginning of the animal kingdom. A father’s role should be supportive, not usurping.
I totally understand what you’re saying, but please, kids are not checks and balances. They will pay in the end, trust me. Those joint custody kids stand out above all the other kids. They have this attitude…this dazed and confused aura….The burden is placed on them to be the parent to the parents but they are truly unhappy and it shows below the surface. Mother’s aren’t getting rights. Stop saying this as a “rights” situation because it pits fathers as the losers and it doesn’t have to be this way. You must love and support the mother of your children even in separation because she bore those kids, and most women don’t turn down a decent, humble man that would put his kids’ life before his own.
“It takes to create a child. “
Two? Yeah, but only one of them has to use “its” body to grow and nourish that child. Not so 50-50 ish.
Most parents are not abusers
And at the same time, most children are abused by their parents. And contrary to what you have written, fathers are the biggest perpetrators
http://www.randijames.com/2010/03/glenn-sacks-really-thinks-he-is-hot.html
which you then go on to correctly clarify that it is because of opportunity. But these fathers who are doing the abusing come from a variety of situations, sole custody, joint custody, babysitting, etc.
Do we want things based on individual situations, or not?
You are absolutely right. We should start assessing fault in divorce once more and punishing the faithless and worthless. Under the system developed the last few years with no fault divorce 70 to 85% of divorce is some cheap worthless bimbo bailing out of a marriage and getting the children. Sole male violence is only around 2% so don’t scream that the women are leaving abuse. The women are the abusers in the majority of the time.
The children raised by a faithless and worthless single mother have their lives destroyed and value of their lives minimized by their bimbo mother leaving a man so she can ‘feel better’.
The big laugh is most women who divorce ‘to feel better’ or ‘to be happier’ are really much less happy with time.
The woman who leaves the marriage home to ‘feel better’ knowing their children stand vastly increased risk for sexual abuse, drug addictions, teen pregnancy, lives of poverty and imprisonment shows she is the least capable parent. The parent who abandons a marriage to ‘feel better’ in a No Fault divorce should receive nothing, especially she should not receive the children to abuse, neglect, and destroy. MURPHY BROWN WAS FICTION ….. GET OVER IT.
I think the law should be repealed and made to read that any person leaving a marriage for other than reasons of provable fault of adultery or violence should receive no benefit whatsoever.
Further, since the at birth DNA testing so rapidly dropped by all states because it broke up so many families when it was shown that 24 to 45% of all births to married parents were not the husband’s children, the mandatory DNA testing at birth was dropped. Surprise, it was the women who were cheating the majority of the time in marriage and then committing fraud in divorce. No Adulterous Fraud, male or female, should receive a dime nor should they be allowed unsupervised access to their children. Just use common sense and the data on the websites of the U.S. Departments of Justice and H&HS on family violence statistics. Women commit more overall violence than men. Lets protect the children from the most violent and least capable parents, women.
Now doesn’t that make more sense than that silly old 50% access?
Hope you enjoyed the use of your own logic on you. The numbers are too great. The absence of the biologicial father in children’s lives destroys children. The absence of mothers in their lives leaves little change from the lives of happy two bio-parent homes.
No amount of legislation and cover-up will hide that fact. It has been too well researched by our own government. The laws need to change to be truly in the best interest of the children, not the women who decide to be faithless and that their own feelings outway the needs of the children to be raised in a manner to allow them decent, abuse free lives.
If your logic were correct then Barack Obama, who grew up in technically a “fatherless home” would have had his life destroyed. Some of the greatest achievers in history were “fatherless.” What is really important is a stable home with adequate economic resources. Some of the reasons for children with bad outcomes are genetic also. If the father or the mother had criminal tendencies, then some of the same characteristics that caused the parents behavior will be present in the offspring. Research blaming all of society’s ills on “fatherlessness” is both biased and bogus. Poor outcomes for children are based more on poverty, lack of opportunity, and inherited characteristics.
If you add a bad father to a child’s life it does not improve that child’s life. People seem to understand that not every mother is good for a child to be around if they mistreat their child, but fathers seem to be exempt from any standards.
See here: http://www.thelizlibrary.org/fatherless/effects-of-fatherlessness.html
It doesn’t seem that you’ve actually read any research. And if you have, then you have little understanding of studies. It takes more than a brief overview, or reading of the abstract and conclusion.
“Usually when time is equally split, child support is either not awarded or greatly reduced. It might even end up that women could be paying men after the mother is deprived of her child” WAAAAAAA, once again this is slanted that the mother is the best choice and that when the mother does get primary custody that the father is not “deprived of HIS child”. Just because the parents can no longer get along does not mean the father should be placed as the every other weekend dad, JUST BECAUSE that is the way it is done 90% of the time.
You also state this as being the woman is the one abused in a divorce, where 30% of divorces it is the man who is physically abused by the woman, and 70% of the time emotionally and verbally abused by the woman, but the men does not scream abuse, they just take it.
“forced by court order to not stay at the home of their choice, but be ordered to stay elsewhere ” The courts already do this anyway, they have to decide to place the kids someplace and usually they do not get a voice anyway until they reach a certain age.
“Even in situations where there is no abuse, forcing a child to live in two different homes 50 percent of the time has already been shown to not work as it interferes with child care, education, friendships, and extracurricular activities” What study has proven this, where are your facts? Do not throw out statements like this with out providing the evidence.
“but good fathers don’t force children to spend time with them against their will and they don’t deprive children of their mothers to get out of supporting them, or to intentionally inflict emotional abuse.” Three points here
1: A father that does those things is not a good father
2: If a mother gets the kids then are they “deprived children of their fathers”????
#: A good Father will fight tooth and nail for what is best for the kids, and a lot of the time it is with the father, not the hormonally imbalanced mother
NOW demanded equal rights for women, and now that it reaches into the pockets of women who get handed the silver platter during a divorce case, and the kids are now equally split between parents, thus the child support is EQUALLY supported, does the cries come out of the woodwork. Grow up, you got your equal rights and now you have to support your children equally. You can not have it both ways. Either you are equal or you are not? Make a choice and stick to it.
“Checking into the backgrounds of these sponsors, they seem to have an agenda to keep women married despite domestic violence or child abuse.” Proof again is needed, not just merely stating it.
Here is the whole problem with this writer “Tennessee is known for giving custody to fathers” and the writer does not like that fact that the father is just as good a choice as primary or 50/50 share of the kids.
What would happen in a gay case, which woman would you blame?
““forced by court order to not stay at the home of their choice, but be ordered to stay elsewhere ” The courts already do this anyway, they have to decide to place the kids someplace and usually they do not get a voice anyway until they reach a certain age.”
@ S Masters
So why not argue for this to be changed? If this is really about the kids. The kids did not ask for the divorce (or maybe they did)…
“#: A good Father will fight tooth and nail for what is best for the kids, and a lot of the time it is with the father, not the hormonally imbalanced mother”
Wow, that’s really powerful.
“What would happen in a gay case, which woman would you blame?”
Cases, aren’t gay. Although it may get your dick hard to fathom this situation, it still remains that the answer is the person who has the closer emotional bond with the child, the person who did most of the parenting.
I have to disagree. James Cook, the father of joint custody was a friend for 20 years, until his passing last year. He fought for Joint Custody for 35 years, predating child support laws by ten years. In a marriage, aside from when the mothers are gatekeepers, parenting is 50/50. This should not stop when the parents are not together. Properly, the children should be getting joint custody of the parents, which would address the problems of multiple families.
http://docs.dads-house.org/WhenTheKidsGetTheHouse.pdf
http://bird-nest-custody.dads-house.org/
http://birdnestcustody.org/
“In a marriage, aside from when the mothers are gatekeepers, parenting is 50/50.
LMFAO. In which country do you reside?
And speaking of parenting–here we go with this nebulous definition of what sharing/joint/50-50 custody is. A court system cannot mandate that parenting be shared between persons who are not together. A court can mandate time, which still has nothing to do with who is doing the actual parenting.
I’m a Mr Mom, having had sole custody for the last 14 years. Don’t let lawmakers give more parenting time to my son’s abusive mother. Thanks.
It’s good parents like you that will be punished under laws like these. Thank you for commenting.
I have never seen such a biased piece of claptrap in my whole life. You are obviously a man-hating, scorched earth shrew. Tennessee is know for giving fathers custody? Do you support any of the allegations that you’ve made in this article with data? You are not just a jaded piece of bat guano, but also a coward as you are unwilling to sign your name to this article. As far as the Japanese custody case, Japan does not recognize any fathers rights. When parents divorce there, the father often never sees his children again, which sounds like it would be right down your alley. Maybe that would be a good country for you to relocate to.
Do you kiss your child with that mouth? Name calling is not good behavior. It’s people like you that should have limited time with supervision, if any time at all.
@ Jay,
Fathers do get custody in Japan though not as often as mothers. What continues to NOT be mentioned, are the children. Are Japanese children thriving? Perhaps you shouldn’t be so ethnocentric.
Japan is a terrible place. Ethnocentric? For a women’s rights person to state such utter excrement is terribly misplaced effort. In Japan one parent never sees their kids at all. And that included MOTHERS who have had their kids kidnapped to Japan by their Japanese (or even AMERICAN!) ex-husbands. Now come on, do we all want cultural relativism to lead us to the conclusion that we should accept this backwards practice as civil??? The country where Rape Lay is the most popular video game right now. It allows you to graphically and violently rape a 14 year old girl… and better yet you can invite your friends to help. Not surprising in a country where a man can have “consensual” sex with a 13 year old girl by law and where simple possession of child pornography (even of a 55 year old man with a toddler) is not criminal. Great place for feminists to hang their hat! Do we want to introduce Japanese standards to our country, is that what this website is suggesting!?!?!? Maybe that’s why they also think that 50/50 custody is not a good idea too. We need more misogyny in our laws!
You’re so damn funny. We cannot make other countries like the U.S. when we have enough dirty shit going on here. Hypocrisy.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/DADS-of-Tennessee/366276263080?v=wall&ref=nf A universal shared equal parenting law would prevent scorned women from preventing fathers from equal parenting time. This is why laws like HB2916 & SB2881 must be passed. 50-50 must be the starting point…Women do not own the children. The problem is, most women are not reasonable, especially when they see their CS pay check go out the door to daddy’s house. They want the money more than they want their children to have a father…it’s sad, but true. Please join us in the this fight for equality, share your stories and let’s work together to change the laws!